


The Great Stilinski Adventure

by ashenRose



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, Original Female Character - Freeform, Relax she's like 70
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashenRose/pseuds/ashenRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's done... Derek has confessed his love to Stiles. Life should be easy now right??? Wrong. The dust is about to settle when extenuating circumstances leaves Stiles on an adventure far from home where his love life has to be put on pause, or does it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Stilinski Adventure

I could not believe that Derek got himself into this. None of this would have happened if Scott didn’t misread that stupid map. What wasn’t fair was that I had to perjure myself to save Derek’s life, once again. These fairies took these things very seriously and it wasn’t like I could just go to prison if we were caught, they would probably kill us both, heck maybe the whole gang for going along with it. Fairies love the death penalty. Don’t ask me why, they just do.

When we had to pick someone to go with Derek why was I such an obvious choice? Isaac and Allison just smirked and looked at me, Lydia and Erica chuckled like it was the easiest decision in the world, and Boyd just rolled his eyes and muttered to himself. Only two people said nothing. Scott who had that confused look on his face with his forehead creased and his eyes darting from everyone like a stranger trying to understand and inside joke. I’m fond of that look, I call it the perplexed puppy, it’s one of his best moves and he uses it to get out of trouble when he abandons me for Alison. It works every time. Then there’s Derek. He looks at the ground with fierce concentration, his fingers intertwining nervously, its mesmerising, ugh no I mean… weird. After he regained his composure, he looked towards me expectantly. With an exaggerated sigh, I walk towards the bearded fairy and raised my hand. I shrunk as he arched his eyebrow. Of course he would not believe a landed someone like Derek. “We will have to ask both of you questions to be sure” he stated warily. I gulped and walked towards him. I knew that Derek was trailing behind like a creeper. Oddly enough, it gave me comfort. It was an action my I mean, the sourwolf did that was familiar.

Two hours ago

“You sure we're going the right way Scott? I swear I’ve seen these hollow trees like three times already.”

Scott said nothing, eyes focused on the dirt road. Lydia, Erica, Isaac and Alison all stared at their phones in intense concentration. Boyd stared aimlessly at the forest we were driving through. I frowned, my thoughts being ignored once again when Derek of all people turned towards me at the back of the car and sighed, “I bet you can’t even tell the difference from one tree to the next so why don’t just stay put and quiet until we get there. I have missed 10 years’ worth of Cora’s birthday parties and won’t miss another. No one told you to tag along.”

That just bothered me, “I have an invitation and carpooling is good for the planet. And I can totally tell those trees apart cause they are hollow like your soul but colourful like you expressive personality.”

There was a silence and all I could hear was teenage dream on the radio. Okay, not my best work but I just took a ton of Adderall and Redbull and had to listen to about two hours’ worth of Katy Perry music. My brain was fried and if I heard California Gurls one more time I was going to scream, or sing along, it was a pretty catchy song and it wasn’t like I was trying to impress anyone. Oh shit, Derek was still staring at me his eyebrows are raised as if to say, really Stiles, really. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t talk much, his eyebrows do it for him. I tilted my head and batted my eyelids trying to frustrate him further. To my surprise, Derek froze then his head snapped back to the front and I was back to staring at his hair. It was comical but not fast enough for me not to see a faint tinge and pink on his cheek. Was he sick? Could werewolves even get carsick? Maybe that’s why he wanted me to be quiet.

30 minutes ago

It wasn’t till much later that Scott admitted that we were lost. By then it was around 7 and the sun was starting to set. We were about to pull over when all of a sudden, a tree fell in front of us, almost crashing the car. We all immediately got out. In hindsight, it was a dumb move don’t all the horror stories tell us to stay in the car. Not to go out looking for the scary monster. It’s sad that I immediately jump the conclusion that the supernatural was a work here. It could just be a coincidence. Yet being with werewolves for over a year has taught me to be weary of such things. As per uge, I was right. Two people with butterfly wings circled us from above. They carried with them a turtle. They laughed menacingly and we were about to fight when they started doing this elaborate dance moves while chanting.

To protect the world from devastation  
To unite all people with in our nations  
To denounce the evil of truth and love  
To extend our reach to the stars above  
Jesse  
James  
Team Rocket blast in of at the speed of light  
Surrender now or prepare to fight  
Meowth, that's right!

We all kind of stared at them after that. Finally, I said something, “Guys, that didn't even make sense, it doesn't fit with the context at all. Who are you and why are you coping Pokémon?” They looked at me incredulously. 

“How did you know!? I mean, no we didn't. We made it up ourselves. We never even heard of Pokémon!”

“You're lying.” I rolled my eyes, “You didn’t even bother changing the names!”

“Well… maybe they are our real names, how would you know? Maybe our parents were huge Pokémon fans!”

“Aha!” I caught them “So you do admit to knowing about Pokémon.”

“Okay but can you blame us, that cheer is just genius.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded. I noticed that Scott and Lydia were absent-mindedly nodding too.

“We are getting off topic.” The male fairy said, “You have been circling out land for over two hours, under fairy law, we know have full rights to kill you.” I knew it. Today would be the day Scott’s inability to read maps killed us.

“I don’t know Rick,” they female said, “Can we at least spare the fair, mouthy one in that ridiculous plaid shirt. You know how I like my men.”

“Very well, I guess…”

I was not able to hear Rick’s response over the loud growl of Derek, who was immediately by my side, he pulled me against his chest. He was very warm. I could not believe it, was sourwolf actually jealous that someone like me over him? It wasn’t until I heard Isaac and Scott’s feint growl that I grasped that it was probably because of the threat of them being killed, not Derek’s insecurity that bothered them. Derek was hot and had a dry sense of humor. He was actually fun to be around when he began to trust you and could get anyone if he wanted to. Heck even guys. Of the three girls I have ever known Derek with had all ended tragically. I wouldn’t be so surprised if that turned him of girls’ entirely. Not that that would be a bad think, I could just imagine ugh, my stupid brain was on a tangent again. I had to focus or we could get killed, how could I be thinking of Derek’s potential love life here of all places. I blushed in embarrassment, my unfocused eyes still on the girl. That seemed to bother Derek even more and when they lunged towards us, he ripped both their throats out with his teeth. Wow, I never thought I’d see the day it would actually happen. Honestly it was sort of anticlimactic.

All of a sudden, we were surrounded by what seemed like several dozen of those creatures. This time they had weapons. One of them, with a long white beard told them that we weren’t to be harmed. As he descended to forest ground, I noticed that he was wearing a purple robe, it looked like a wizard robe found in any Halloween store. He looks about 300 pounds easy and smells slightly of burnt cabbage. He began to speak. “Killing a fairy is punishable by death. Two warrants torture.” His voice was deep and low, eyes piercing as if to see your soul. He stared at Derek.

“Wait a minute.” I squeaked, no not squeak, it was a manly cry. My voice was defiantly not an octave higher than I thought possible. “It was self-defence, he had no choice.”

“That is trivial, you were trespassing, and they had the right to try to kill you. You had the option of escaping or dying.” He stated this with a silent, duh, at the end, not even bothering to turn towards me. Before I could contemplate the injustice of that I thought of something. I didn’t know much about fairy culture but I know they valued one thing over all else.

“My bad, it was not self-defence, he was protecting his lover.” The old fairy turned to me.  
“And who would that be?” he asked.  
Crap.

Present Time

The bearded fairy motioned for us to follow him. When the others tried to follow his minions blocked their path. It was clear that Derek and I were to go alone. We followed the bearded fairy at a jogging pace for about 20 minutes. At some point, the fairy grew frustrated by our pace and started flying faster. I had to stop and catch my breath. Derek watched me then crouched to the ground. Let me carry you, he was careful to look everywhere but towards me. I eyed him skepticly, I was about to argue when he shot me a pleading look, something that he obviously took great pains to do and motioned me closer with his head. The bearded fairy must still be within earshot. Whether I wanted to or not, we had to pretend to be a couple. I climbed up him, not nearly as fun as I imagined, not that I imagined it before nope never, and griped his waist with my legs. I awkwardly put my hands on his shoulders. He sighed and yanked my arms, making them grip around his neck and chest as he began to run, quickly catching up with the fairy. We finally reached a meadow with a small boulder in the middle. Other than that, it was bear besides the autumn leaves of bright orange, yellow and read circling it. By then, the stars were coming out. It was almost romantic. If I ever get someone special, I would like to take them there. I didn’t relies until Derek gently unwound my arms from himself and I came off that I had been nuzzling his neck for the past few minutes. He seemed a little dazed, probably from all the running. I guess it was a good thing because it made us seem like a more believable couple.

We ended up sitting next to each other facing the boulder with the bearded fairy sitting cross legged. On the other side. I was the first to break the silence.

“So… how is this going to work?” I asked.

“This is a magic boulder. It senses dishonesty. It works much like a human lie detector test, it will glow when the one with their hand placed on it is lying. You will tell me the history of your relationship and I will determine if it is serious enough to call it love. If you lie, there will be consequences. Do you understand? Allow me to demonstrate.” He placed his hand on the boulder and said, “I am a girl.” The boulder started glowing bright blue. Lighting up the meadow before it went back to normal, a moment later. Double crap.

We both nodded. Derek seemed calm but I was not. How the hell are we supposed to convince a magic boulder that we are in love? Damn Scott. Stupid Derek and his stupid heart wanting to go to his sister’s party. Stupid me for wanting to go so I can see a stupid happy carefree Derek having a good time. Stupid stupid stupid… I didn’t know I was shaking until Derek grabbed my left hand. He began circling the back of my hand with his thumb. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down.

“Please excuse Stiles” Derek said, he was looking at me fondly, his other hand was ruffling my hair, I leaned into the touch, don't judge me I was selling it. “He is a bit nervous given the circumstances.”

The bearded fairy looked to Derek. “Begin.”

Derek placed his left hand on the rock and started talking.

“Stiles and I first met briefly, in woods similar to these, he was with a friend looking for something when I spotted them. I remember that he was wearing a stupid t-shirt with a target on it. It was so much different than his signature plaid, which by the way, he seems to have an endless supply in his closet.”

I was shocked, I could did not know what was harder to believe, that Derek remembered me enough to remember what I was wearing or insulted that he called it stupid. Then the bearded wizards turned to me. It was my turn. I place my hand next to Derek’s.

“Are relationship was strained at first.” That much was defiantly true, “We kept bumping into each other, like it was fate.” I finished lamely. The bearded wizards did not look impressed. I had to continue. “Once, he stopped by my school, something was wrong so I gave him a ride. We ended up and the vet. He had a scare but I helped him get through it. We had a moment. It did not amount to anything but it would be much different if my friend didn’t burst in at the last moment.” Yeah, things would be different, I would have cut off Derek’s arm. But now I was on a role, I had to sell this. “In the end, I am glad Scott showed up.” Yeah, he saved me from a lifetime of nightmares and therapy, “I’m glad things didn’t get too serious too fast.” I repeat, nightmares and therapy.

“Me too.” Derek added, “I would never push Stiles for something he was not comfortable with. I wouldn't want to even reveal my feelings until we were ready… even if he was never ready.” 

The bearded fairy rolled his eyes but looked curiously at Derek. He cocked his head and smiled. It was very big but did not quite reach his eyes. 

“It’s a good thing he was ready then, right Derek?” I felt a hint of frustration at the familiarity the bearded fairy had with my I mean sourwolf. He still treated me like dirt and was threatening to kill and torture Derek just half an hour ago. Derek just looked at his hands.

“I call him sourwolf.” I decided to throw that in there if it helped. Derek smiled. It was heart-warming until it stopped when the bearded fairy dismissed it and turned to Derek. "He does not seem to understand how rude that is. All those dog jokes are disrespectful, I guess a human won't understand that." Derek clenched and unclenched his fists, finally uttering, "I enjoy it" under his breath. Before the bearded fairy could reply Derek continued as if the exchange never happened.

“The first time I was in his room was intense. Not much happened but he got me to take my shirt off.” Derek says, almost absent-mindedly.

“Go on.” The bearded fairy said, strangely intense. What was his problem anyway, this was definitely not professional, “What happened next?”

“I had him against the wall." There was a silence and when the bearded fairy urged him to continue he said, "and I don’t feel comfortable taking about what happened next, sir.” Derek said those words coldly. Clever dude. The bearded fairy did not even have the dignity to seem embarrassed.

“Please, call me Oscar. I see so you had a very physical relationship.”

What a jerk, marring the name. Oscar sounds like a really cool horse's name and he just ruined it for me, not to mention that inspirational movie about the fish who cleans up after whales but dreams of climbing the social ladder with the help of a fellow outcast. “Nope!” I interjected. “Once we stayed in the pool for two hours. We stayed close together and got to know each other better. Derek was the reason I came out of the pool a better swimmer. I got a lot of practice in treading and swimming and my muscles ached at the end. He really cared about me staying afloat” That was completely true.  
“I see.” Oscar frowned at me. His look was dangerous and I felt a surge of anger similar to when the twins threatened me. Derek seemed to figure that our so before I did anything we would both regret his other hand, the one still holding mine, tighten slightly. I instantly relaxed. 

“So, was that a date? Tell me about another.” Oscar looked at Derek expectantly. Derek ignored the first question.

“Once, we just lied next to each other on the floor, his head on my arm talking. We stayed that way for a while. It was a bonding moment.”

I smiled at the memory, yes we totally bonded over being paralyzed by a serial killer. However, looking back, it was a pretty funny moment.

“A guy in our area said we make a pretty good pair.”

At that, Derek looked at me, eyes wide that I remembered. I just laughed at the memory of Matt. Oscar did not like that.

“Did he now?” Oscar clearly did not agree. Well Oscar can shove his ideas up his, “Did you tell your parents?” Oscar asked, interrupting my thoughts on his attitude about my pretend relationship. “It’s not really serious until you meet the parents.”

“I remember when he first met my dad” I said, my poker face on, betraying nothing. Derek turned his head towards me frowning, I continued.  
“It was in public so there was less pressure, nevertheless, he did not approve.” I eyed Derek, hopefully conveying to Oscar that it was the age difference that bothered my dad. I nudged Derek, it was his turn to say something.

He treated me like a murder suspect.” Derek dead-panned.

There was a moment of silence, at that point, I lost all his composure and burst into laughter. Oscar eyed us both suspiciously but I could see Derek biting his lower lip as it turned upwards.

“It was a memorable experience.” We both said together.

We continued telling half truths for a while until I was sure Oscar was properly convinced. It surprised me how many moments we had together. Every time Derek came up with one, I said another. It was some weird game but towards the end, I was much more relaxed.

“Are we done now?” I asked. I look up to see literally hundreds of stars lighting up the night. We must have been taking for a while now.

“Almost, just one more question.” Oscar said as he turned towards Derek. He had a very serious expression on his face, almost as if he were studying the werewolf. He finally spoke.

“Why do you love him? He is a skinny boy with an attitude problem. So ordinary that it bothers me to look at him; a weak human who will never amount to much. He has only to gain by being with you but you have all to lose. Why do you love him!?”

The last question was a shout. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about what Oscar said. What worried me was how Derek was going to answer without lying. Maybe he could say something along the lines of, Stiles is not useless because he does research for the pack and evade the love question. I was worried that Oscar would see through that.  
I was interrupted in my thoughts when Derek let go of my hand. He placed both his palms on the boulder and looked at Oscar, fuming. I could not have predicted what he said next.

“Why do I love Stiles? I love him because he makes me want to be a better person. Instead of letting grief consume him he turns to other people for support, not shut them out. I love him because when he had no reason to, he is selfless and enjoys helping out others. He likes bringing happiness to those around him. I love him because he is wicked smart and funny too. I love his sarcasm that reminds me of the ridiculousness that is my life. He deflates the most stressful situations. I love him because he is not afraid to challenge me and others, even though he can be an idiot about it he won’t just lay over and take crap from others. I love that he has no brain to mouth filter because honestly, I could learn a thing or two from him about expressing my feelings. I love him because he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I love his moles and I love his smile. I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side and make sure he sees the way I see him. So don’t you dare insult him and don’t you tell me that I have nothing to gain from a relationship with him.” 

At that he grabbed my head and crashed my lips against his. My brain short-circuited. It was relatively chaste. It was passionate yet with no tongue, I felt Derek’s desperate hand at the back of my hand and grabbed his in return. All too soon, Derek, broke us apart looking horrified for a millisecond before turning a cold gaze towards Oscar. I felt a rush of emotion. Did Derek really mean it? There was no way he could have fooled the rock. He did kiss me. I tried to make eye contact with him while Oscar was half-heartedly apologising and offering to give us directions to our destination. Derek had his hands in his lap through this and ignored my attempts of eye contact. It was like he was afraid to look at me. It was ridiculous. He stiffened at I put my head against his shoulder but there was nothing he could do with Oscar there. For once, I was glad about his presence. As soon as we were alone, I was going to talk about this with Derek whether he wanted it or not.


End file.
